I just feel like cutting. Right now. And throwing up.

I wanna stick my finger in my throat and throw up so bad. I’m so fat. I NEED to lose weight. Although I have never done it, I have never threw up like that. I just want to right now. And cutting. Seeing a lot of blood coming out of me.

I just want that. I have that urge. But I have to control it.

5 months ago on 30 December 2011 at 10:02pm 7 notes














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I guess I'm just looking for salvation. Or maybe I'm looking for something to save or someone to blame. My life's a mess, just like the way I'm a mess. I'm complicated and full of flaws. I'm sure you don't want me by your side. But here I am, I'm living to provoke the world. Sometimes I wish I was dead, but don't we all? Life's better if we're not living. It looks better, it tastes better. But I made a promise to myself. And I'm not letting go. I'm not leaving.